In a Moment
by Book Lover Rin
Summary: The Degrassi School shooting was one of the most stunning moments of the entire show, and this is my personal take on what might have been going through Rick's mind at the time he decided to bring the gun to school and use it.


In a Moment

_Author's Note: I hope that you enjoy this story though I must admit that it turned out better as I was planning it in my head. Now that I sit back and look at it I must admit that it seams rather... Stupid. The ending seams abrupt but only because I figure that you as the reader knows what comes next, after Rick speaks those words. Anyway, I still hope that you, the reader, can find some enjoyment in this story. When you're finished reading it please feel free to comment, I love criticism, both good and bad, as it allows me to know what to do to fix my writing._

_Also, please know that I do not own Degrassi or any of its character, nor am I in any ways affiliated with the show, its actors or any related persons. This is merely a work of fiction derived from my own mind. I also got some of the dialogue from the episode wrong and I apologize for that as I wasn't watching the episode as I wrote the story. This story wasn't meant to turn you against Rick, he's one of my favorite Degrassi characters (or was is more accurate), but I do want to provide another view to see the episode from, perhaps another way to see just what went wrong. I hope that this short story, in companionship with the episode, helps to open people's eyes to bullying and maybe make you think twice before treating someone as poorly as Rick was treated._

_One last thing before we begin. As I said in the summary I'm trying to show what might have been going on in Rick's head when he decided to shoot who he did? Personally, I don't think that Rick was a bad a person, just that he might of had some evil thing inside of him causing him to do what he did. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't, I guess that's for you to decide as you read this and reflect back to the episode._

_Now shall we start this story? Please enjoy my first submission._

Disgrace. Embarrassment. Rage. Sadness. Pain. Humilatiaiotn.

So many negative feelings flooded Rick Murray the moment the paint and feathers floated down on him. With a silent, bitter laugh to himself he wondered how odd it was that one could be at such a high one moment, such a glorious, wonderful high, and then the next be at such a sickening low.

Pausing for a moment to brush a strand of his paint streaked hair from his face and tried to allow himself to regain control. In only a matter of a few hours, not even a few hours really, everything had gone wrong. Everything had gone completely out of his control.

First, it was the "Whack Your Brain" competition. He had won the competition single handedly, after all he had competed in the lighting round and won, and yes that was exciting, and yes that should be enough to keep him happy. That is of course, if that horrible, horrible prank hadn't been played on him.

Paint spilled over his head and then feathers following shortly after, How childish. How utterly childish. He had never been so embarrassed in his entire life, wait no. Correction. The most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to him had to be what occurred next.

Rick started walking again, fast. He had left the school and was heading home. His steps were fast and his fists balled up in raged. Yes, what happened after his Whack Your Brain competition was the worst, far worst.

Emma had gone to see if he was alright and he had kissed her. Rick was sure that Emma had loved him as he had loved her but clearly he was wrong. He was told to "Get a clue" and that she only "pitied him". Bitterly, Rick laughed to himself as he neared his home. As he had walked home he noticed the glances from passerbies and his laugh out of nowhere only brought more looks.

Rick could understand why he received the looks that he did. After all he was almost _completely covered in paint_. Everything from his just above the shoulder length brown hair and his father's suit that he wore for the competition. Even his thick black rimmed glasses (from the eighth grade, bullies had broken his newer pair) was covered with the yellow paint that he had failed to wipe off.

In front of his door, Rick paused trying once again to let the rage spill out of him. He's been teased before, all the time, without mercy, so this shouldn't be all that terrible. It shouldn't be. He should be able to get over it... But he couldn't shake this incident. He just couldn't, today had been so terrible. Today and every other day since he returned to Degrassi, especially after what happened to Terri.

Terri... The name still hurts Rick to think of. Last year he had loved Terri, he really had, and he hadn't meant to hurt her. Honest, but it was like some evil little person lives inside of his brain and made him do the terrible, terrible things that he did to her, and he knows that this is why he's treated as badly as he has been, but he's changed.

Rick slid the key into the lock and pushed the door open, with it trying to push away the thought of Terri, but failing. Cautiously he stuck his head into his house.

"Mother?" he called out, glancing around the house. "Father?"

When no response came Rick quickly entered the house, closed and locked the door and raced upstairs. His mother must be out at the store or something, and his father must still be away on his business. That's good. No matter how hard things got Rick never told his parents. He never wanted them to worry and even when his glasses were broken in the fight he lied to his parents as to why he needed to wear his old pair.

He had told them they got broke in P.E. classes when he was hit with a volleyball in the face. It wasn't exactly the most original excuse but it did serve the purpose and his parents didn't worry. But this, all the paint and feathers, would be impossible to explain without telling his mother of his bulling.

The thought of the bullying that he had gone through at Degrassi filled him with a new rage and he found himself walking to his parents' bedroom. He felt possessed, like he wasn't really himself, like the evil Rick that hurt Terri was overtaking him again. Bitterly he classified himself as "Normal Rick" and the evil force that was overcoming him as "Evil Rick".

Normal Rick watched Evil Rick walk to his parents' wooden closet and pull open the door and grab hold of a small decorative box and walk over to the bed and place it down. Evil Rick opened the box to reveal his father's handgun, and at that Normal Rick tried to regain control.

_No, I can't do this. I can't. I'm not a bad person, I'm not, and this would give people a reason to really think that I am. To judge me as a monster though I'm not one. I'm not, but this would tell them that I am. That all they ever thought of me was true._

Normal Rick did try to regain control, he did, but in the end his evil side won and he slipped the gun into his bag and left his house. The gun's weight in his bag filled him with an unknown purpose, and as he neared school his evil side started to hint to his normal side as to what he'll do.

The school was in sight and his pace lessened, it was all that Rick's good side could do to slow him down, and before he could make it to the steps that led up to Degrassi High he was stopped by his friend Toby Isaacs.

"Rick! They're going to find who did this, Raditch is furious," Toby said, and while his friend did look sincerely concern, Evil Rick didn't want to listen.

"And do what? Give him a detention so they can just laugh it off?" Rick shot back, new rage filling him.

"Listen, they will be caught. Honest," Toby said, and seeing that Rick had started walking away he added. "You should go home I'm sure Raditch wouldn't mind you taking the rest of the day off."

Abruptly Rick stopped and turned to face his friend, perhaps his only true on. "Toby, this is the one time I actually want to be here," he said before turning his back on his friend and leaving.

Once inside of the school, Evil Rick took over and made a beeline for the cafeteria. Wherever he went he was greeted by soft snickering at his still paint covered self. In front of him he saw Paige Michalchuk, one of Terri's best friends and one of top people against him, coming up to him. Silently, he slipped his hand into his backpack and grabbed hold of the gun. Rick was surprised to learn that Paige found the prank "sickening" and "childish", and he quickly hid the gun in his bag again.

"I really never meant to hurt Terri." was all that Rick could say, and he watched as the blonde girl nodded and left. He felt an odd sense of thankfulness towards the girl who used to hate him the most as he felt his normal self begin to regain control and he hurried to his locked and put his backpack in. He was relived to store away from the gun and snickering from a fellow student reminded him of how silly he looked. Quickly he went to the bathroom to wash up.

While he was washing up Spinner and Jay came in the bathroom and whole hiding in one of the stalls Rick overheard their conversion about how Jimmy was the one who pulled the prank.

_How dare him!_ Rick thought, and once the two boys left Rick emerged from the stall and left the bathroom. Now he knows he was possessed by the Evil Rick and as he walked back to his locker he looked at all the people he passed. All the people who were so cruel to him. Every single one of them.

He knew now what he had to do. Opening the locker he retrieved his backpack and went on a slow, sullen search for Jimmy. As he passed the different students thoughts raced through his head.

_And they thought I was the terrible one, no I'm not. They are. Life ruiners, that's what all of them are. They caused me to do this, not me. They just needed someone to blame for their own actions because they're whimps, they can't accept what they've done wrong._

Finally he saw Jimmy by his own locker. Rick continued his advance.

_I was never the one to blame, never. They were the ones._

Rick was close now, only a few more feet and he'll be noticed. Normal Rick didn't even try to regain control, he knew he was to far out of control. Evil Rick would never let go in this state.

_They will pay... They will._

Jimmy looked up now. "Hey man, sorry about what happened, and listen I've got your back from now on."

_All of them... Starting with Jimmy._

"Yeah, I'm sure you are."

THE END


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